what has left between us

from the time i know you, i always thought that we could make it through. we were very happy but i don't know why when something changed between us and our relationship changed as well. is that because of you or me? i think both of us are always feel insecure, and we care about who is the winner too much. i always let you be the winner and spoiled you too much. too much till you don't know how to appreciate everything and just wanting more and more. i'm really tired of this game already, yet i find hard to let you go or let myself go. you never give me an answer. this is all i wanted, then i'll give up. you chose not to say a single word when i text you. do you know how bad you are? do you know how much you have hurt me by doing this? yes, i'm the one start hiding and avoiding first, but it is because of your attitude. i thought it might be good that i don't ask anything since you have told me you are so busy. you told me that you don't have time to go movie with me, yet you went movie with someone else. you said the air tickets are too expensive then you went travel with someone else by telling me the tickets price are not a problem at all. this is hilarious. what has left between us after you have done all these to me?

i dun know why am i so stubborn that insist to get an answer from you. when you never reply my message, i think i can guess what you mean. so i think from now on, i will try my best to kick you out from my life.

back to this 'dog doesn't shit place'

finally, i'm back to this 'dog doesn't shit place'. the feeling wasn't good because is still chinese new year then i have to leave my family and relatives. when i arrived melbourne aiport, i called my mum, then i felt like crying at that time. my friend was very surprised when i told her that i was homesick.

i really miss home, althought the atmosphere wasn't that good sometimes during chinese new year. but at least we all can play together and had fun. CNY is a good chance to bring all people together. Jonathan just told me that if i were at dinner with them yesterday, i should be drink gau gau. BIG SIGH

now is already 10 but m'sia is only 7. my dinner was cracker with cheese, if i'm at home now, i should be eating something good. i wanna go home.